Jonathan Romo is a student in European Studies. A true island boy, he loves his BBQ on beaches.

Every now and then my friends and I have some get togethers.

Just right next to my school there's this bar that we like to go after school hours. We’re a bunch of students studying in The Hague, consisting of a mixture of internationals and locals.

Normally while at the table, we're all talking, having a good time and several of them sometimes are speaking Dutch. Then there's one student that can't speak it and he's looking around and I have then remind the others - “Hey guys, remember this guy is from another country, so can we switch in English that we all are included into the conversation?”

They often then reply in a somewhat tiresome voice, “Oh yeah oh yeah, okay” and sometimes I think that's unfair and very exclusive.

It must be hard sometimes for people because yes, they are locals from the Netherlands, so they are in their home country and it's kind of hard to change a habit of a person.

However even though they've been speaking or doing something for a long time, I think it's very important that that these students know that if they're going to join an international study that they should consider many things.

I think that's just fair. I felt that when I said that I'm like the only one noticing it. I speak the Dutch language, but I don’t speak it that well, and even sometimes when I’m speaking with other Dutch students, I feel that I cannot continue or go along with their conversations because they’re talking about certain things that I cannot respond to.

I think that’s also how I've known that other students feel left out because I felt left out myself, even though I speak Dutch in those conversations.

My advice

[In situations where you are speaking the common language] - I think it's very important in an international arena to speak a language that everybody can get along with, whether that’s English or something else.

Given that it is usually common to start a conversation about where you’re from and if you find out that that person is not from the Netherlands and given then that they obviously will not understand Dutch, I think that's one of the first things you do, to ask where one is from to gain a bit of the context and help guide the conversation afterwards.

It's very important that when you're in conversations, try to include everyone with broad topics you all share.

Things that doesn't have to necessarily just include the Netherlands, because then again, you make the international students feel very left out. These students travel from faraway countries and when they come to the Netherlands, that's already a cultural shock because this is not their home.

[When you feel excluded in conversations due to the language] - Don’t just go away, at least not at the first instance. I think rather than walking away from the problem, I would rather say face it. By facing it I mean that if I was in their shoes and those around me were speaking a language which I don't understand, I'd be like, “hey guys, that's kind of rude. I'm standing right here close to you guys and you guys are excluding me from the conversation.”

I think that's fair to point it out, because sometimes I don't blame those perpetrating the exclusion because sometimes they do it unnoticeably and not on purpose, so I think it's very good that you point it out.

Maybe you can correct them in a way that next time they'll think about it and they won't do it again.

Yes, it can be very intimidating for those who have come from a different country. They might not feel at home and so it's hard for them to speak out or say what they have on their mind because this is not their home but I do encourage to speak up because if you don't speak up then you won't get it out of your chest or you won't fix the problem. It will stay the same.

I would say for the students who do already live here in the Netherlands or if you are studying in the country where you have always lived in, please make sure the internationals do not feel left out.

It's a very hard thing. I came here myself and had to travel at least 10 hours by plane to come to the Netherlands. So it had already been a tough decision to come all the way over here and not feeling welcome is a very hard thing because a lot of Dutch (or local) students just move from one city to another.

This is their country. So when they go study, they're technically not going that far away from home.

When they say they move out, they live in The Hague, but they moved out from The Hague and they go to Amsterdam. That's like an hour traveling compared to 10 hours by plane, which is a very big difference.

So I would say please consider if you're doing studies that are very internationally-based to be open minded and be more welcoming and receiving for these students who are not from here in the Netherlands.

Finally, I would say for the ones who are international students - speak up  and don't be intimidated.

Even though this is not your country, do speak up, because you never know that when pointing out something that's wrong, you can help yourself and someone else in the future.