Celia runs her own business focusing on social media and advertising. She’s hails from Peru and enjoys standup comedy, friends and spreading her energies to everyone around her.

I understood from young that there were two different kinds of vocabulary for men and women.

When a man takes the initiative combined with his anger and he says stuff to you like (aggressively) “Hey, you should do this better”, then the reaction tends to be that “Oh my God, he's such a good leader!”

When I do the same thing people come to me and say “Hey, are you on your period? Maybe you need to see your boyfriend soon!”

They knew that I have a long distance relationship or they go to my supervisor and say that I am very bossy.

But I never hear the same adjective given to the men that have the same positions as I have.

I remembered one day my company gave me a big client, one of the most important clients of the agency, I was 24 years old and had a team of 20 to 24 people that were older than me. They were in their 30s already so I was feeling quite intimidated. But the project was going well.

First of all in an agency - you don't have a formal dress code. The dress code is normally casual - jeans and T-shirts. I know I like fashion, so it's not like I'm sloppy at that part when I'm going to work.

My project was going well and then my supervisor came to me. I remember that he was in a position where he had just hired me, but I was already getting the same responsibility that he did.

So he called me to his office and told me “I think you need to dress more properly.”

And I was like “what do you mean?”

He then replied: “I think your team needs to respect you more first.”

My temper was then reaching the boiling point, and I remarked - “Well then, why do you assume that my team is not respecting me and why do you assume that people will respect me more if I dressed differently?”

Coming out of that conversation, I was feeling very sad and uncomfortable because I was thinking maybe my clothes were not very nice or pretty.

It's a lot of time that I'm wasting judging and doubting myself, constantly thinking what I'm doing wrong when I can be focusing in getting my work done in a better way.

When I said this to my friends, they told me, “maybe it’s because your t-shirts are too revealing”

My t-shirt is my t-shirt. It's not my fault that I have a breast on my T shirt. It's just the way it is. It's not my fault that I have a butt, it’s not that my jeans are tight! That's the way I was born. I don't have to hide my body.

My friends can work until 3:00 AM in the morning, come back next day without a shower smelly, stinky and nobody will say anything to them.

A woman can work until 3:00 AM in the morning and has to wake up at 6 or maybe at 5 just to get all the makeup things done so that she can avoid men at work picking on her looks.

It's always sensitive when somebody picks on your looks because it doesn't matter even if you are the most confident person. It will always hurt you and that was part of a lot of daily conversations and it not only happened to me but it happened to a lot of women.

My advice

When microaggressions happen at work, it sucks, especially when it comes from close colleagues. It is vital to speak up, set boundaries and acknowledge your feelings.

If you feel like somebody mistreats you, that feeling is valid, and you don’t need anyone else to confirm.

However, as important as it is to stand up for yourself, it is also important to understand that sometimes these microaggressions do not necessarily come from a place of hate but ignorance. So, to make the most out of a negative situation we can try to look at it as an opportunity.

First, an opportunity to set some healthy boundaries with those you care about in order to take care of yourself.

Second, an opportunity to bring a topic to the table and perhaps plant the seed of a new perspective in someone’s mind hoping they’ll think twice before they say it again.

Some ‘belief systems’ like sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, etc. are so deeply rooted in our society that even the most ‘woke’ person cannot shake them off all the time.

If you belong to a minority group, or a vulnerable group in a society, like women in south America, you’ll sadly encounter these moments more often (like what happened to me at work).

So, a good start is to become aware about how these belief systems have shaped our society to this day.

In my case learning about feminism freed me, empowered me, and has allowed me to see the bigger issue as well as its complexity. And as a consequence, creating a better understanding for those who, like me, are still learning and unlearning.

It is difficult to remain kind when a microaggression happens, but if we want to make a positive change in our surroundings, it’s important to speak up, and also it’s important to allow people to recover from a mistake and let them learn from it.

We all come from different contexts that have shaped us in certain ways, we need to unlearn a lot, work together, and hold each other accountable so we can be better humans.

Remember, your age, heritage, gender identity… everything that makes you, YOU, are not something to be ashamed of and it shouldn't compromise your value.

You are valuable because of all these things, not “despite” all these things.