Helen Hutchinson-Bevan is a Learning and Development professional, wife to the love of her life and coach at a fitness studio

When I was 22, I wanted a new phone, but I knew I was in a contract, so I knew I'd probably have to pay or I just wanted to see how long was left on the contract and if I could change my phone.

This was in Torquay, a small seaside town in Devon, the UK. Back then I was still really shy so before having to do these type of things I would get nervous and I would practice what I was going to say because I wanted to be all grown up.

On the day, I went in confidently into the store with all my words rehearsed in my head. I had a little mooch around. I played with the phones to make myself feel comfortable and I thought, “well now I'm just gonna go and ask (about the phone).

I went up to this guy who from the start looked like he didn't want to work there. I then asked, “Hi, I'm interested in getting a new phone, but I'm still in a contract with my existing one. I was just wondering what like the terms and conditions are. Do I have to pay a fee? How long have I got to wait to get a new one?”

He then said with a sigh “Fine, I'll take your details and have a look in the system.”

He asked what my date of birth was, which was one of the security questions. I said it and he was like, “well, no really. What's your date of birth?”

I then replied, quite puzzled now of course - “1987”. Sarcastically, he replied, “you don't look 22”.

I looked at him, wide-eyed, “that's my date of birth, you've got my address and my other security questions.”

Suddenly he went, “wow”. And not in a nice way, he just went further, “oh, don't you look nice for your age!”

He looked at me again and said, “it's not going to be worth it. You, with your age, are going to have to pay £100 to get out of your contract.”

At that point I just thought to myself, integrity intact, “Well I'm working full time now. I could probably afford it because I want a new modern phone. That is basically it.”

He then decided to mansplain to me - “no, why would you do that? You know you've got six months more to wait, just wait and then a better phone will be out.”

At that point it kind of took me back because he was so rude about it. He wasn't caring in his words, and didn’t try to frame it in a much kinder way.

It was just so rude.

From that moment I was really thinking hard because I really wanted a new phone. I decided then that I would just go away and think about it.

He then replied, quite patronizingly, “why don't you go and look around? The shops? Have a look at some pretty dresses and have a think about it.”

I was just stunned. That was it really. I didn't go back. But then I annoyed myself because I really wanted a new phone. I had the money to get one but because he said that, it just put me off.

I remembered feeling so angry and spoken to like a little girl when I was just trying to do something grown up. He was just so rude and I still think about it to this day how rude he was. That's why I don't like going in phone shops.

When I look back, it was the thing about the pretty dress that really got me. I don't know why he said it because I wasn't even dressed up. I was just in jeans and a leather jacket. It wasn't like I was tottering round in like heels and a dress, and even if I was, why would that matter?

And he missed out on an extra £100 in the sale. Well, pity.

When someone talks to you like that, you feel rubbish for the rest of the day. And it has been 10 years now that I still remember this! It's just very patronizing. I just wanted a new phone. I had the money, so what was his problem? Well, he lost like £100 and another contract for another two years so.

It's very odd because he worked there for a while. I used to walk past and see him and I always thought, “well I'm not going in there! But he's gone now.

My advice

Now if that would happen to me, I would definitely complain. I didn't have the guts to complain back then. I just thought at that split second – “did he just say that to me?”

If I were to advise my younger self now, I think I should have just walked away and thought about it, perhaps thinking about what he'd said and then going back, speaking to the manager and making a complain.

For me as an individual, I have to absorb information, I don't react straight away. So I think even though I did mooch around town after, I should have been brave and just gone back in or asked to see someone else.

I feel like 22 year olds today would probably be fighting back. So really, speak up and give yourself a voice.